Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I am naked and annoyed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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