every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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