If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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