Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
