please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
