omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
