I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
