What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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