I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
