Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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