We won't sleep together?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
