it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
