Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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