I want to make a zoo with you.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
