so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
