Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
