SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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