super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
birth control should be required to get into college
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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