your parents love me but you hate me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
