shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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