So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
