Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
two words: eviction party
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Randomize
