yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
