Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
