Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
