16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The best revenge is premature balding
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
