woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
