it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
