if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
