Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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