Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
