do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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