just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
