I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
