North Korea, Best Korea!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize