My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
