What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
