Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
