You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
