We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
