What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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