i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
