brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
3pm strippers are depressing
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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