I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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