All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
