Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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