fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
