Me too!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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