I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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