You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
