I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
